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A fantail in a maze

2/7/2013

4 Comments

 
Today I saw a fantail in a maze.

"I know how these things work", I thought to myself.  I was so sure that I would quickly master this small fenced off puzzle that I strode off quickly and confidently.

Turn-by-turn I marched on with little regard for the twists and turns. Afteralll, I was a man on a mission! I knew where I was going!  The exit was sure to be over in that far corner and I was confident I could get there without any trouble.

No dead-ends, no turn backs.  Onward I strode, making a be-line for the exit.  Sure enough I got over there with very little effort.  I was on track. One last corner. "This must be it..."

But instead of an exit, I walked straight into a dead-end! 

What had happened?  Where did I go wrong?  How could this be?  I was sure of my strategy.  What was I going to do now?

I stared at the wall for a moment.  Disappointed, and a little despondent, I complained under my breath, "this was only meant to be a five minute thing".  I didn't have a Plan B; no other ideas about where the exit might be.  For a few moments I just wondered in the maze. 

Dead-end after dead-end.  Endless turning back.  So pointless and demoralising.

Some music was playing on my phone.  A song by Casting Crowns started up:
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?
"How appropriate" I muttered!  And In a moment of indignation the answer came far too quick: "Who am I?  I'm no one!  I'm nothing!  Why would anyone care about me?  Why would God give two hoots if I'm stuck in a stupid maze?"

All of a sudden a little fantail appeared in front of me.  He looked so playful and bright as he flittered and flapped at the edge of the maze. 

My spiritual radar popped up, and with all the pious hope I could muster the thought emerged, "maybe this bird is here to show me the way"?

More words from the song rang out:
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours
I was just about to head left, when the fantail flittered to the right...ok, right it is!  Off I went with a new purpose and resolve.  New determination and a stride back in my step.  New hope, I'm on my way...DEAD END!

"Stupid bird!", I muttered, then rather more cynically, "stupid me for thinking God would send a bird to speak to me in the midst of a silly little maze".

Again I was wondering, hopeless and alone.  I was out of ideas.  I didn't know what to try next or where to turn. 

Then, there it was again: "That bloomin' fantail.  Back for more, huh?  Don't you know when to just give up? Why must you taunt me so?" 

Again he seemed playful and bright.  This time his song was so joyful that it started to drown out the poison of my own thoughts.

A change.  Something switched in my heart.

"Do you want me to dance?", I awkwardly asked the little fantail. Then the answer came deep in my heart. "Yes". My heart leapt for joy.  A knowing grin filled my previously grim face.  A deep sense of relief and freedom poured in where once there was despair.

Enjoy the moment. Be free. Nothing to worry about.

I continued through the maze with a new spring in my step and a joy in my heart

Still there were dead-ends; still plenty of turn backs, but that didn't seem to matter now.

Just then another Casting Crowns song began to play.   In no time I was walking out of the maze echoeing the words:
"Let my life song sing to You. Let my life song sing to You"
New hope. Revelation. Realisation.

What lessons one learns from a fantail in a maze.
4 Comments

Am I a rugby fanatic?

8/9/2011

0 Comments

 
In case you hadn't worked it out already - I love rugby!  I'm sure that throughout the tri-nations and regular rugby season it became obvious to you.  Not to mention the eight Rugby World Cup matches I will be attending over the next 7 weeks.  So the question occurs to me: why do I love rugby so much?

I guess I was a typical Kiwi boy growing up.  My dad was a rugby fan and was elated when I started playing rugby for a club at around eight years old.  Prior to that my mum had convinced dad that I should play soccer ("poor thing might get hurt"), but dad never got into that the same as when I played rugby.  I played as Prop for the Massey Rugby Football Union's JB teams (along with ex-All Blacks Troy Flavell and Ron Cribb). Dad would come and keep my aftermatch jersey warm under his jacket.  We would have pies & chips after the game, which was free if you won "Player of the day" (that only happened once...doh!). Rugby was a special part of my formative years.

Then a decisive moment happened.  For me, like many others, the 1987 All Blacks winning the first Rugby World Cup was a turning point.  It was so exciting and in many ways cemented my love for rugby forever.  JK, Michael Jones, David Kirk...they became legends in my eyes and by the time I was in my late teens I suppose I'd become a little obsessed with the game - and the All Blacks in particular.  If you doubt it then one day ask me for a look at my collection of 1995 All Black world cup player cards with signatures from every player, and the stories about chasing the team around (I think they call that stalking these days..hehe).  Had we won that Cup I was planning on making a fortune out of that series of cards (sigh). Alas, it never happened. Then there were the Ranfurly Shield matches that I traipsed around the country attending. I will never forget Bull Allen and the Taranaki boys dashing North Harbour's Shield hopes, and mine, the last time Taranaki held the shield about 15 years ago.  Now I'm here in Taranaki I have a whole new perspective on Taranaki holding the Shield - go you good thing!

For the past 15 years or so the rugby cards have sat in a box and my obsession has subsided somewhat. I still watch some games, but only having "poor mans TV" has limited that somewhat.  I guess I've grown up and had time to put rugby in a more proper place in my life. In an interesting way, my rugby journey has parallels with my Christian journey, so this week I will be preaching on "Why I love Jesus more than rugby" - should be good.

Blessings to all...and "enjoy the games"!
Pastor David Auty

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